5 November 2019

My Isaac Part 5 Lovest Thou Me More Than These?

  To provide some context for this post... At the time, our three boys were ages 11, 8 and 5, and we were fostering two sibling groups. The two sisters were about 6 and 3, and although their future was yet to be settled, it was looking like they would not be returning home, and would need a permanent foster or adoptive home. The others were a 5 year old boy and his baby sister, who was almost a year old. These two would soon be returning to their mom.

My Isaac

An excerpt from my book:

 After I wrote the song, “My Isaac,” it occurred to me that perhaps fostering had become my Isaac; that one thing so hard to let go….but for many different reasons. Caring for children is what I had been doing for almost twenty years, so part of the issue was my identity; it wasn’t just what I do, but who I am. 

 Another aspect was that it was my way to contribute financially to our home. Fostering also kept the door open to adoption, and I wasn’t quite ready to close that door. But the hardest to consider was the thought that maybe I was using it as an ‘out.’ As long as I was busy with kids, perhaps God wouldn’t ask me to serve him in some other way.

 Several months later I found myself struggling with some of the challenges our foster children were presenting. I had always had a hard time saying no when asked to take more kids, but I was realizing that maybe this time we had taken on too much. With seven kids, I wasn’t giving the foster children what they needed, and worse, I was shortchanging our three boys. 

6 of our 7 kids, along with an unplanned litter of puppies!


  After talking to Brian about how I was feeling, we agreed that I should call our social worker about the possibility of finding another home for the two girls who had been in our care for the past year. This was a difficult decision to make, and I didn’t want the girls to go to just any home. I let the social worker know that it had to be ‘the right home’…...according to my standards, of course! I was willing to accept the fact that the Lord might be closing this door for us, but surely he would provide that perfect home for my girls!


Our girls

 “Not my will, but thine Lord.” Hmmmm…..I wasn’t quite there yet.

John 21:15 So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.

Proverbs 17:3 The refining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but the Lord trieth the hearts.

Continued... Part 6

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